Loving Lawson Page 9

  “Well, any advice and I’ll be sure to pass it on to mine,” I told him, hiding my glum mood. There would be no daddy to teach my kid to fight back. It would be all on me, and that was a daunting thought.

  He tore his eyes from the kids and looked at me, noticing how close I was to him. Brown eyes, gentle and calm, stared deeply into my own. I wished I knew what he was thinking then, because that smile slowly faded from his luscious lips. The second I felt heat in my cheeks, I turned away from his stare and back down at my magazine. While pretending to read, I was acutely aware of his every movement and it made my body tense being so near to him. How did it make any sense that I could be both comfortable and on edge around him?

  “Allison Wallace.”

  I nearly leaped to my feet when I heard my name. I set the magazine down on the shelf and went to the technician waiting by a hallway. Heath followed closely behind.

  The young technician by the name of Ruby smiled warmly at me. “Hello, Miss Wallace, this way please.” She led us down the hallway and into the corner room and said, “Lay down and pull your shirt up over your bump.”

  I lay on the bed prepared for me and lifted my shirt up. Heath took a seat beside me as Ruby set up the ultrasound machine.

  “How are we doing this morning?” she asked, glancing between Heath and me. Her eyes lingered on him for a few moments, no doubt absorbed by his good looks.

  “Good,” I muttered.

  “And the father to be?”

  My body tensed and I looked at Heath. When I spotted his back stiffen and his eyes widen, I immediately said, “No, no, he’s not the father.”

  “Oh, I’m sorry.” From the curve of her lips, sorry was the last thing she was.

  Heath didn’t reply, but he looked stone faced now and wouldn’t meet my eye.

  “Lean all the way back,” she told me as she slathered a jelly-like substance on the ultrasound probe. Once I did, she set it down over my stomach and an ice cold sensation shot through me.

  “You’ve got a nice bump, little and pronounced,” she remarked as she moved the probe around. “Must be a genetic thing. Was your mother this small?”

  I shrugged, not wanting to think of her. “I don’t know. She never talked about it.” She never talked about a lot of things, actually.

  Black and white images sprang up on the monitor, and I stared at it for a while, not understanding what I was looking at. I concentrated hard until finally it settled and what I saw took my breath away.

  “This is your wee one,” she said. “Nice and healthy by the looks of it.”

  Peanut was in the shape of a baby. Big head, tiny body, and he was moving rapidly with his arms flailing.

  Oh, my God.

  I looked excitedly at Heath who was leaning forward, just as absorbed by the images as me.

  “This is happening in my belly right now?” I asked in shock.

  Ruby chuckled and gave me a nod. “Sure is.”

  “I can’t feel any of it.”

  “You possibly won’t for another six weeks. Twelve weeks is a little early to be feeling anything, especially with your first.”

  I watched, dazed by the movements, as my baby began touching his face.

  “Do you know the sex?” Heath asked.

  “Not yet. Her next ultrasound at eighteen weeks may tell you that,” Ruby answered.

  I’d already known that, but it was nice hearing Heath interested enough to ask. She began taking measurements and showing me different body parts, of my peanut’s hands, head and feet. It was beyond anything I could have imagined. My spirits soared, and I smiled so wide my cheeks ached. I was going to be a mother. Me, Allie Wallace. Wow.

  “Baby is nice and healthy,” she said by the end. “I’ll have a DVD of the photos ready for you shortly.”

  “Thank you,” I told her as she wiped off the gunk on my stomach.

  I rolled my shirt down and moved off the bed. Heath stood up with me, still having not said a word to me since I’d corrected the technician, and we walked out. I didn’t let his indifferent demeanour bring down my mood. I was still reeling with excitement. I was going to have pictures of my baby!

  *

  The ride back to the apartment was quiet. I held my disc with both hands, already looking forward to reliving the experience when I got back and jumped on Heath’s laptop.

  I looked over at him again, frowning at his off mood. God, what had I done?

  “Are you alright?” I asked him when the silence got to be too much.

  He nodded. “Yep.”

  I sighed. He was lying. I set the disc down in my lap and turned to him fully. “Heath,” I started with a soft voice, “I want us to be open and honest with each other. Communication is extremely important. If something is bothering you, please let me know. That way we can avoid a misinterpretation, or any hurt feelings.”

  He thought about my words for a moment. “Fuck, do you have to be so goddamn rational all the time?”

  “What do you mean?”

  “I mean you’re like the adult between us sometimes, which you shouldn’t be. Telling me this shit and making me realize how right you are –”

  “I don’t mean to offend you –”

  “You’re not. You’re reminding me what I’m doing wrong, and you’re completely right to.”

  I waited for him to continue, but he didn’t. “So what’s wrong?” I pressed.

  He exhaled, turning the car into a parking lot of a shopping centre. The engine was still on after he parked it, and he took a few moments staring idly out the window to gather his thoughts.

  “When she assumed I was the father,” he finally started quietly, “you were so quick to tell her I wasn’t. Are you ashamed of me or something? I mean, I know I’m not anything to be proud of, and I’m definitely not some hot shot accomplished guy –”

  “I didn’t mean it like that,” I hastily interrupted him. I felt a bubble of panic. That was the last thing I wanted him to think! “Oh, my God, Heath, no way would I be ashamed of you! That’s impossible. When she said that, you looked like you’d been hit by a car or something. I didn’t want to freak you out and push you away if people started to think you’re something you aren’t.”

  The relief shone in his face as he nodded. “I never said I didn’t want to be a part of your kid’s life, Allie, and I would never get freaked out by what other people think. I’m doing all this so I can be an uncle and give your little person a chance. I don’t want you to be doing this on your own.”

  “Well, I appreciate it.”

  With a soft smile, he said, “I know you do. Everything about you is genuine. Always genuine.”

  I returned the smile, feeling my heart hiccup in my chest. “Anything else upsetting you?”

  “No, and if there is, I’ll be sure to bring it to you.”

  “Okay.”

  He then turned off the car and opened the door. He motioned me out.

  “Where are we going?” I asked.

  As he stepped out, he stretched and answered, “To get you some maternity clothes. You’re going to need it, right? I saw your bump, and it’s gotten a lot bigger in two weeks.”

  I stepped out and walked with him to the entrance doors of the shopping centre. I felt around the jeans I was wearing, noting how tight they were.

  “Clothes are expensive,” I said. “We can go to a used shop –”

  “No,” he cut in, stopping to face me. “I’m going to get you a bunch of nice stuff. None of this baggy shit you’re wearing. I’m tired of seeing you in Ryker’s clothes. I want something on you from me.”

  “But it’s expensive –”

  “I’ve got another fight coming up and you can guarantee I’ll be winning. Stop stressing. I can pull some overtime at work too. We’re going to be fine.”

  There was no arguing with Heath. Once he decided on something, it was next to impossible changing the course of it. So I simply nodded, because at the end of the day he was right. I was getting bigge
r, wasn’t fitting into any of my clothes, and I couldn’t keep living in Ryker’s clothes any longer.

  We spent the rest of the afternoon getting a new wardrobe for me. He didn’t lose his patience. Didn’t hurry me along. He waited patiently for me, stopping every few aisles to point something out. He had a radically different taste to me, pushing me to wear clothes that didn’t hide my bump. He wanted me to embrace it, which was hard because I didn’t want the attention drawn on me because I was young and pregnant at the same time. I’d seen enough judgmental stares in public on other girls in similar situations, and I knew it couldn’t have been nice.

  “Look at this,” he said, pulling out a grey, baggy dress from a rack. “It’s called a maternity wrap.”

  I stood next to him and went to look at the price tag. Having learned about this compulsive thing I did, he immediately hid it in his hand. “Nice,” I mumbled with a roll of my eyes, “I can always just look at the price on the other exact same dresses here, Heath.”

  “Don’t you even dare,” he threatened.

  “Or what?”

  “Or I swear to God I’m going to beat you.”

  “You’re going to beat a pregnant woman?”

  “There are other methods to being beaten.”

  “Yeah? Enlighten me.”

  He smiled wickedly. “Every girl hates being tickled. I’ll tickle you for a fucking hour.”

  I shrugged indifferently, hiding the terror that made me feel. “I like being tickled. That would be great.”

  Leaning into me, he whispered into my ear, “You didn’t follow my advice about lying in front of a mirror, huh, Allie?”

  I reddened and pressed my lips down to keep from smiling. Avoiding the heat leaning into my side, I grabbed the sleeve of the dress and looked it over. “I don’t like the V-neck,” I told him.

  “Why not? It’d look hot on you.”

  “No.”

  “Why?”

  “Because.”

  “Because what?”

  “Because if you haven’t noticed,” I said, pointing to my chest, “I’m not very blessed in some places.”

  “I think you’re blessed just fine,” he replied, openly eyeing my chest in amusement. “Twelve weeks pregnant and you’ve got some ample bosoms coming in – OUCH!”

  I smacked him hard on the shoulder, betraying the seriousness in me by laughing. To my horror, he threw the dress in our basket and winked at me. “You’re going to look like a goddess in that.”

  Shit, I was blushing hard. I chose not to respond, knowing my voice would probably come out sounding like a four year old on a sugar high. Shopping with Heath was a definite no-no, no matter how fun it was.

  After he’d filled my basket with clothes, he didn’t lead me to the check out. He spun around and went into a different direction. I wondered if he was going to get himself something too when he abruptly stopped in the baby section. My throat thickened as he began sorting through tiny onesies on a rack.

  “Fuck, they’re small, huh?” he said, whistling in surprise, making other mothers lurking around whip their heads in his direction.

  I stepped next to him and looked at the unisex newborn clothes he was showing me. He started loading another basket up with some, never once checking the price tags.

  I watched the concentration on his face, the way his plump lips pressed down thoughtfully, how his eyes narrowed when he found something he liked… Overall, Heath didn’t look like he belonged in a baby section with his hard face and tattoos crawling all over his body, poking out of the neckline of his shirt. He was too big. Too raw. Too… rough. None of that fit into a delicate little area like this.

  “Some good deals here, Allie,” he muttered. “Go on, have a look.”

  I pretended to have a look, but my eyes were drawn strictly to him and his seemingly endless mission to spoil the shit out of me and… my baby. Warmth settled over me, and I quickly realized I was starting to really like Heath.

  And the worst part was I was liking him in a way I should not be.

  Shit. This was bad.

  “You alright?” he then asked, looking at me with those piercing brown eyes.

  I realized I’d just been caught staring at him for the last who knows how long. I simply nodded and mumbled a yes as I turned my attention back to the clothes. After he was content with the amount we’d gathered, he paid and we left. Not wanting to go home right away, he grabbed us some take out and we ate it at a park near the apartment. There was a rundown basketball court too, and we settled ourselves on the grass just near to it.

  “We were meant to watch what we’re buying,” I said, contently eating my small basket of chicken salted fries. Oh, my God, pregnancy had me yearning for everything salty. And pickles. Lots and lots of pickles.

  Distracted by the game going on, he shrugged. “We came under budget on groceries. Just enjoy.”

  I took a healthy bite of my hotdog when I heard the giggles of a few girls. “Hey Lawson,” they called out to him as they walked past us in the direction of the basketball court. They couldn’t have been that much older than me, wearing their signature tight clothes, all dolled up and effortlessly beautiful.

  Heath gave them a friendly smile and a nod, returning his attention to the game between the local boys. I watched the girls closely as they stopped near to us and the court, laughing and whispering in each other’s ears. It took no mastermind to know who they were talking about judging by the glances in his direction.

  “They want you,” I said, and then I wanted to do a face palm because how random was that?

  “Hmm?” he said, taking a bite out of his burger, engrossed in the game. “Who wants me?”

  Now I just rolled my eyes. “You know who. Those girls there, staring holes into you.”

  It took a few seconds before he lazily slid his gaze from the game to the three girls. They caught the look and giggled again, louder than before. And this is why I was often excluded in girly cliques; you would sooner find me dead than giggle shamelessly for attention at a good looking dude.

  He chuckled at them. “They’re trying too hard, huh? Maybe I should wear a paper bag over my head or something.”

  “Or you can talk to them. You need to replace Tru, after all, right?”

  His body stiffened and he dragged those eyes over to me. That smile of his was gone, replaced by a bothered look that made me want to take back what I just said. God, I had no filter with him around. Ever since this getting comfortable with each other shit was happening, I’d loosened up remarkably. Even more so than when I was with Ryker. And that said something.

  “Sorry,” I quickly apologized, cringing. “You know… I didn’t mean it… It just… What I meant is…” My brain was running on empty. It was like it knew what I’d said was downright dumb, and I deserved his wrath.

  He stared at me hard, an unreadable look on his face, and then he leaned closer to me. I watched with knitted brows as his fingers came up to the corner of my mouth. “What you meant is…? Go on,” he whispered, the pad of his index brushing my lip. My being tingled at his touch, and it took me a moment to finally break from his gaze to look down at his finger. Sauce. He’d wiped sauce off me… and here I was thinking it was some kind of erotic moment –

  He licked the sauce off his finger and my breath really did leave my body. My mouth parted in surprise, and then I realized, well, shit, that kinda was erotic.

  “Allie,” he prompted me softly, as if he hadn’t just wiped sauce off the corner of my mouth and licked it into his. Then, as if to torture me some more, he darted his tongue and licked at his finger again, like he was prying some more taste out of it. A familiar ache pooled at the bottom of my belly, and my cheeks heated when I knew it to be lust.

  He raised his brows, charming me with another heart stopping smile, and continued to wait. I blinked at him and then looked down at my hotdog, idly wondering if I should just smear some more sauce around the seam of my lips and hope for him to do it again. Maybe
he’d do it with his tongue –

  Enough!

  “Um, well,” I cleared my mouth and shrugged. “I don’t think sometimes. Ignore that remark. It’s none of my business who you lick – er, you know, see.”

  He chuckled lightly, like he knew exactly why I was bumbling like an idiot. It took me a moment to regain some equilibrium, and when I was me again – albeit still with that lustful fire brimming at the pit of me – I haughtily asked, “Why did you do that just now?”

  Heath was amused. Of course he was. He didn’t skip a beat when he motioned his head to the girls and said, “A little touchy-feely with you might steer them clear.”

  I glanced at the girls. They were watching, their interest in us growing, proving that his theory had actually the opposite effect. “A little heads up wouldn’t have killed.”

  “But then you wouldn’t have reacted the way you did.”

  “What way?”

  He tilted his head to the side and wiggled those brows. “You know, all breathless and… swept away.”

  I glared at him. “Is that what you think you did to me?”

  He grinned widely – I was sure I heard those girls sigh dreamily – and leaned further into me, until his face was inches away from mine. “Al, I’m a hundred percent sure that’s what I did to you. In fact, tell me your heart isn’t racing right this second.”

  “It isn’t.” It was.

  He knew I was lying.

  “No butterflies in the pit of your stomach?” he asked softly.

  “No.” Yes.

  “Are you really that immune to me?”

  “Yes.” No.

  He studied me long and hard, at some points moving in the slightest bit closer to me, observing the way I reacted while I fought not to react at all. He did it until I could feel his breaths against my face. And like a deer in the headlights, I’d stilled completely and just watched him. My body was responding to his closeness; my fingers ached to bring him closer, my mouth begged to lean in just a little bit to brush my lips against his, my heart beat faster and my mind buzzed with images of his muscular torso wrapped around me.

  I was alive everywhere.